As if it were an altar divine,

There is that anxious mirror in my mind

that for ever beckons me for it to assess

my motives and my every move

to which it always has every easy access.

 

Just when I act and turn around

I feel a nudge, a roar, or a deafening sound ...

"Quick, come to me, rely on me

I am your self-introspection, I am your mind"!

 

This mirror itself by now is clean no more

nor are my questions to it transparent,

or, for that matter, even understood.

They are wrapped up in jumbled impressions

of successive unaccepted invalidated emotions

left behind in the debris of broken associations.

 

And yet some involuntary internal irritation, or

some premeditated external calculated invasion,

pulls me to that mirror which itself is now covered

with the dust of diminished esteem, fear

and some shame, too,

invariably impatiently casting its judgements on me.

 

Why does so much in life about life transpire as if

we are possessed by command of laments leaping

constantly from spells of sacred 'coulds' and 'shoulds'?

Like a rebellion our every action turns around and

mocks us rather impishly for never doing anything right.

 

We forget that this self-disdain is really dispair in vain,

for when that ONE defining moment arrives,

there is left but only one question of any import ...

"Were we really alive 'within' while living this so called life"?

-- like a tree with its leaves rustling,

singing the songs of the birds and the breeze,

risking and rising tall above its roots,

spreading its wings wider and wider, giving

shelter to the tired and to forlorn,

a standing landmark giving direction to the lost,

offering shade to those scorched by the sun,

but most important of all ...

ALWAYS GIVING MORE THAN IT RECEIVES !

 

Or, did we live our 'life' like a dried up stump

of a dead broken tree?

 

Therefore, discard that mirror of your anxious mind,

that ever robs you of your resplendent majesty,

and see if your life speaks of your real 'being',

of love, compassion, and forgiveness you convey

from your deep inner center, even when you are

distraught by so much not going your way.

 

 

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-- Vijay Nikore

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